Guide a Young Child to Become a Great Teenager

Posted by in No-Cry Discipline

We can’t mold our child into the person we want him to be, but the ways that we respond to our babies, toddlers and preschoolers will affect the way they will be as school-age children, teenagers and even as adults.

There are typical teen behaviors that parents struggle with that actually begin taking root when your child is young. Unfortunately, those tiny seeds are sometimes watered and fertilized unintentionally throughout the preschool and early childhood years until they grow into overgrown weeds that become very difficult to deal with.

 

become-great-teenager-elizabethpantley-madeline-6yo

 

If only you could glimpse your children’s future for guidance as you teach them while they’re young! But since you can’t there are many remarkably similar behaviors that children share, and you can benefit from the knowledge of families who have gone before you. Below are some specific examples of unpleasant teen behavior and tips of how you can improve the odds of your child growing into a teenager, and an adult, who demonstrates the good behavior that we all hope for.

 

become-great-teenager-elizabethpantley-daddy-aiden-4yo

 

Typical older-child/teenager misbehavior Preferred behavior How to help your young child to develop the preferred behavior later
Leave dirty dishes all over the house Put dishes in dishwasher  

Toddler: Hand dish to you when done eating.
Preschooler: Put their dishes on the counter or in the sink.
Child: Put dishes in the dishwasher.
Create routines and they will become a habit and an expectation of what’s normal.
Have piles of dirty clothes on bedroom floor Launder clothes and put them away  

Toddler: Carry his own clothes to a hamper in his room.
Preschooler: Put clothes in a hamper in the laundry room.
Child: Help sort clean socks; fold t-shirts. Put away own clothes into drawers or on shelves.
Talk back to parents when told to do something Do as told, even if unhappy, without backtalk  

Toddler: Avoid excessive use of “No”; tell child what you want, more than what you don’t want.
Preschooler: Politely correct inappropriate comments. Model good manners.
Child: Call out and identify disrespect; define behaviors that aren’t permitted; be consistent
Shout or use foul language. Express anger appropriately.  

Toddler: Acknowledge and label child’s emotions to help him understand himself.
Preschooler: Encourage child to talk about feelings; help child find resolutions to problems.
Child: Teach anger management skills such as taking quiet time alone to cool off.
Teach possessions carelessly. Respect and care for property.  

Toddler: Don’t allow destruction or rough misuse of toys.
Preschooler: Don’t have too much clutter of unused toys.
Child: Keep toys neat and organized.
Be a couch potato, too much TV, not enough exercise. Watch limited TV, get ample exercise.  

Toddler: Limit TV to thirty minutes a day; encourage active games and activities.
Preschooler: Don’t use the TV as a daily babysitter. Make outside play a priority.
Child: Encourage child to participate in sports; set your home up with plenty of supplies for active play; limit TV.
Lie about big things and small things without concern. Tell the truth, even in difficult situations.  

Toddler: Model honesty.
Preschooler: Don’t punish for mistakes.
Child: Focus on solutions to problems instead of punishment. Commend child’s honesty.
Not communicate with parents. Have open, honest communication.  

Toddler: Play with your child daily.
Preschooler: Take time daily to listen to child’s ramblings. Encourage chatter.
Child: Listen to child face-to-face without distraction. Try to see life from child’s point of view.
Lack social skills; exhibit rudeness and thoughtlessness. Be polite and considerate.  

Toddler: Teach good manners.
Preschooler: Tirelessly and politely remind child to use manners. (Please, thank you, excuse me)
Child: Model good manners with your child and others.

 

become-great-teenager-elizabethpantley-elizabeth-17mo

 

This list shows the most common, and the most frustrating behaviors; but of course, it is not a complete picture of everyday life. Each family’s life looks a little different, and it is up to you to figure out what will work best for your family. It takes time and effort to look beyond the present moment, open your mind to the future, and analyze how decisions and reactions made today will affect that future. This is not to say that you can’t make mistakes; you will make mistakes. Life is complicated and days with children are hectic, but every now and then you need to look to the guiding lights along your path to head towards a brighter future.

 

Read The No-Cry Discipline Solution for more ideas and strategies.