Angry Parent? 10 Helpful Ways to Feel More Peaceful

Children are built to test our patience on a regular basis, but it is our responsibility as their parents to keep our cool and avoid turning into an angry parent. No one is perfect, and we all have our moments, but these strategies will help you maintain your parenting composure more often than not.

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Take Personal Time Every Day to Avoid Being an Angry Parent

It can seem hard to squeeze in “me time” each day, but it is really, truly important. You can’t expect to stay calm and centered while taking care of your family if you are not taking care of yourself as well. It is not selfish – it is necessary for emotional health. Do what brings you peace and comfort – tea with a good book, a run around the block, yoga while the baby naps, coffee with a friend. Whatever it is – make time for it!

Research, Learn and Practice Good Parenting Skills

Parenting is complicated, intense, ever-changing, and never-ending. You can’t expect to have all the answers without taking the time to be introspective, while also doing some research. No one is born with the skills that it takes to be a great parent. Treat it like any other important job and learn about how to be the best parent to your unique children.

Keep a Written Schedule to Prevent Chaos

Life with children sometimes turns into a whirlwind of chaos that seems completely unmanageable. That alone can make you feel like an angry parent. However, keeping lists, calendars, and charts will help you keep track of everything, lessen the stress, and help the family understand the schedule. Create a system that works best for your own particular family, and then stay consistent with it. Most people find It is a lot easier to be patient when you’re not flying by the seat of your pants.

Create and Abide By Family Rules

What are the things that drive you the craziest on a day-to-day basis? What family rules could you implement to improve those things? A few simple rules can make life easier. Dishes go straight into the dishwasher after eating. Homework must be done before TV. Toys get put away before nap. You can create whatever family rules will be helpful to you, and if you stay consistent, it will become second nature to your child. Which then means, you won’t lose your cool because you won’t have to endlessly remind your children of the things they should be doing.

Avoid Struggles by Offering Choices

Giving choices is a simple way to improve behavior, and it works wonderfully with children of all ages. There are endless choices that you can offer to your children throughout the day instead of always demanding things from them. What do you want to do first – put on PJs or brush your teeth? Do you want the blue or yellow cup? Do you want to do the laundry or the dishes? Children appreciate having a voice, and you will be happy because it is a simple way to gain cooperation.

Give Simple, Clear Directions to Avoid Being an Angry Parent

The less you say, the more your child will hear, understand, and remember. Get down to your child’s eye-level and then make a short, concise statement. Repeat yourself if necessary but avoid elaborating and lecturing.

Talk Face-to-Face with Your Child

You can engage with your child more effectively if you approach him calmly, get down to his eye level, and talk in a clear, concise manner face-to-face. You will have your child’s full attention, and your child will be able to read your non-verbal communication signs, such as facial expression and body language. You will be better able to understand each other when communicating this way.

Use “I” Statements Instead of “You” Statements

“You never do your chores!” “You always make such a mess!” These finger-pointing “you” statements can bring defensiveness and conflict. To dissipate the situation, try getting into the habit of using “I” statements. “I feel hurt when you promise to do the dishes, but then you forget.” “I feel frustrated when there are messes to clean up.” Using these types of statements will get you a much better response and protect the important parent-child relationship.

Pick Your Battles to Avoid Being an Angry Parent

It is okay to let little things slip through the cracks. Not every issue needs to be addressed and corrected, and if you feel like you must address every single issue, you will likely drive yourself and your children nuts! Sometimes the best thing that you can do for peace and sanity is to ignore the small stuff. The kids are bickering over a broken crayon? Walk away, take a deep breath, and do something else for 10 minutes. Chances are, the issue will be long forgotten by the time you come back.

Increase Your Support System

There is a reason that the “it takes a village” phrase exists. No one should have to parent in a vacuum. Many communities have a wide variety of mommy groups – check Meetup.com, La Leche League, and Stroller Strides for starters. Make friends with neighbors and other parents are your child’s daycare center or school. Talk with other parents at the playground. Having friends that are in the same stage of life as you can be a lifesaver for dealing with your stresses and concerns.

Ideas from The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums & Tears