Common Parenting Myths Debunked!

Most parents believe myths that make them feel confused and inadequate. These awful myths can spoil the joy of raising your children. You may have never realized how intensely these beliefs affect you, but they do. Learning the truth will erase your doubts and allow you to relax and enjoy your family.

Common Parenting Myths Banished for a Happier Family

Jeda, 5 yrs and Jxia, 2 yrs

TRUTH: You could be totally committed to your child from the moment of birth. You could do absolutely everything right. In fact, you could be a magnificent, spectacular, utterly faultless saint, and your child would still misbehave. The truth is: ALL children misbehave. ALL children make mistakes. ALL children will have temper tantrums, whine and fuss. It’s part of growing up.

REALITY CHECK: Love your child, and do the best you can. And don’t let normal misbehavior wear down your confidence. Give yourself and your child enough room to be human.

MYTH: If you love your child, and if your intentions are good, parenting will come naturally to you.

TRUTH: Loving your child is easy. Raising your child is hard. Effective parenting skills are learned. Parenting is complicated, intense, and ever-changing. In order to be a calm, effective, parent you need knowledge and skills, but almost no one is born with these skills.

REALITY CHECK: Just like driving a car, mastering a computer program, or becoming skilled at any sport or hobby – good parenting is something we need to learn. You can learn by trial-and-error – but that can be wildly frustrating. Instead, take a class, read a book, join a support group – you’ll be amazed to find that a few good tips can make your life much easier.

Arwen, 7 mths

MYTH: If parents are a perfectly matched couple, and have a strong relationship, then they will agree about how to raise their children.

TRUTH: It’s very common for two parents, even those who are perfectly matched and happy, to disagree about child-rearing approaches. The way that we approach child-rearing is influenced by our own past experiences – both the things we choose to do, and the things we try to avoid. It is nearly impossible for two people to be in perfect agreement on every parenting decision.

REALITY CHECK: Even when we agree on basic fundamental parenting theory, we might slightly disagree on approach. Even if we agree on approach, our differing personalities guarantee that we won’t always handle things in the same way. Good communication and ongoing discussion can help any couple to find agreement on important issues.

MYTH: Good parents don’t lose their patience and yell at their children.

TRUTH: Even the most peaceful easy-going parent loses patience and yells from time to time. No matter how much we love our children, they will try our patience, they will make mistakes, and they will make us mad. All children have their “naughty” moments. And, guess what? When children are “naughty”— parents lose their patience and they YELL.

REALITY CHECK: It’s normal to lose your cool and yell at your children, but it isn’t fun and it isn’t productive. Take the time to learn a few new anger management skills and some parenting tools. These will help those angry moments become less intense and less frequent.

Delilah, 11 mths

Breathe a Sigh of Relief

Take some time to think about these and other myths, ideals and expectations that you have believed. Ponder where these beliefs originated, and why you believe them to be truth. Then contemplate the truth of the matter. When you analyze myths and replace them with truth, it can help you to approach parenting in a more honest, uncluttered and much more enjoyable way.

Need more tips? The No-Cry Discipline Solution is full of gentle ways to encourage cooperation without whining, yelling or tears!